I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Have any of you wanted something so bad but was so scared to fail that you almost gave up before you started? Or how about you wanted to achieve something but was unsure you could put in the hard work so thought maybe you should not even bother. Anxiety telling you that you will never make it and depression causing you to feel numb to anything and everything. I have been all of this still even after working on trying to be more active on my site. Even though I know that it takes failure to be successful. I am still hovering on the edge of plunging into the effort I need to make to get my site off the ground and really get my creative passions started. I can’t stand it.
I have also been made to wait for some things to happen that can help me a lot. I will be starting school and since I am a vet I will be able to get paid to go to school. That will pretty much take care of my financials issues right off the bat. The thing is the class doesn’t start until late March. I have to wait it out. I can’t stand waiting. I never liked waiting. I had to wait around a lot while in the Army and I honestly can’t figure out how I was able to wait, sometimes for hours, just doing nothing since I had to wait for others to get to the location to get the mission done. So I am trying to work on waiting for purpose. To be ok in having to wait for something and understanding that it’s not me it’s just the process. I am not being as successful as I would like, but that is just something else I need to wait on a well.
I am hoping that if I can learn to be more patient and be ok with waiting that I can get to the work I would need to get my projects started. I can’t think of anything else I can do at this point so what do I have to lose.