I haven’t written in my blog again in a long while. I know why I haven’t and it’s not something I want to continue. I have noticed a lot of what I was saying could be seen as “negative” and I didn’t want to make wrong impressions or make it seem like I’m doing worse than I really am. Well I changed my mind the last few days. I realized that I have not felt comfortable to really share what I am thinking or how I am feeling so it makes sense that a lot of what I have to say may be “bad”. I mean after having decades worth of stuff I have kept to myself, it makes sense that a lot of it won’t be sunshine and rainbows.
I keep insisting that I am ok and that I’m not in a crisis or anything because when I read some of my posts even I wonder. Eh, no I’m not in a bad spot but there were times I was in my life and I need to let it all out. I’m still trying so hard to be more open and I still hesitate. It’s so difficult to not be worried about how people will see me once I talk about what I want to let out.
I am still working on myself and I like to think I am making progress. I also see this when I read my past writings and my more recent blog posts. I can see the evolution and I’m proud of it. I think this is the next big step, writing more and getting more off my chest. I need to just write and not think about it so long I talk myself out of putting anything down and just forgetting it instead. It’s a process, I pray I do more in the days to come.