I had an upsetting event today and it reminded me why it is so important to keep up with the cognitive processing therapy. I instantly went to the usual thoughts of everything I do ends up failing and nothing will get better etc. I recolonized what was happening and was able to turn it around quickly. I gave myself time to calm down then went back to what I was doing.
I realized just how much of my adult life I used up worrying about things I shouldn’t even try to control because it was never something I could change, namely the actions of other people. It hurts yes but that’s not for me to worry about only how I react. I didn’t do as well as I would like today but I am getting better.
Another thing I realized is it takes practice to undo behavior and thought patterns you are trying to change for yourself. I have over 25 years to undo and then relearn. I can’t expect it to all snap to in a matter of months. I’m getting there tho and I can tell I am making progress.
For anyone working on themselves and wondering if it’s worth it, the answer is always yes. It may take a while but it will be so worth it.